i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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