You're my little dorito
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
