i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you told grandpa to call you daddy
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
