Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wanna passion pit in your ass
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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