i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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