quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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