Do you still have your period?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
