I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
