I must be too annoying 4 u.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
