he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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