We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
