i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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