i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
