At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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