I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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