Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
