Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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