Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
