like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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