this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
