I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
