Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
