This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
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Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
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Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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