scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
