Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
