You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
