my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
