How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
that may or may not have been my penis.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
