I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
