So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
