do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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