so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
