In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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