I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I would ride that face into the sunset
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
