I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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