also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
