when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
