honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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