Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
