tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
His nipple licking is glorious
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