Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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