Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
