carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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