How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
my liver is dry heaving
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
