I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
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Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
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Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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