ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I have aggressive nipples.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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