I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
