College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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