They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
