Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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