p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My bed smells like the plague
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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