My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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