I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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