Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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