Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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