I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
