Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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