wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
