guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
