Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
