on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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