I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
