At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
