just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
